Healing

            This Sunday, September 25th, I am going to offer an entirely new perspective on the story of Christ’s crucifixion.  In his account of Jesus’ execution, Luke describes a conversation between Christ and the two thieves who were crucified along beside him.  Luke writes:

“One of the criminals who were hanged there kept deriding him and saying, ‘Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us!’ But the other rebuked him, saying, ‘Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed have been condemned justly, for we are getting what we deserve for our deeds, but this man has done nothing wrong.’ Then he said, ‘Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.’ He replied, ‘Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.’”   ~ Luke 23:  39-43

            At least for me, the conventional reading of this story is to see it as a story of forgiveness.  That is, Jesus offers repentance to the thief who is remorseful.  While it is true that there is a strong element of repentance and forgiveness in the story, note that neither the thief asks for forgiveness, nor does Christ offer forgiveness. 

            We don’t know what kind of thief this man was.  For instance, was he a career criminal who had been robbing people for years before he was finally captured?  Or, was he someone who only occasionally robbed, when he was hungry?  Or, when his children were hungry?  When he robbed others, did he harm them further?  For example, did he beat up his victims?  (Remember that this is what happened to the man in the parable of the Good Samaritan; he was beaten to a pulp.)  Alternatively, was he kind and gentle with his victims?  We don’t know much about this thief. 

            There are certainly elements of repentance and forgiveness in this story.  Afterall, healing includes repentance and forgiveness.  Yet, there are other elements to healing.  Sometimes healing includes reconciliation in the face of a tremendous loss.  It is important to remember here the difference between curing versus healing.  For instance, to be cured of a cancer would include going into full remission and becoming cancer free.  By contrast, one can receive spiritual and emotional healing from cancer even when it continues to ravage the physical body. 

               I believe that fundamentally the exchange between Jesus and the thief, as they hang on the crosses, is a story of healing.  Fundamentally what Christ offers to the thief is the gift of healing, through the promise of joining Jesus in Paradise.  That is, Jesus offers reconciliation and an invitation for the thief to enter into the Kingdom of God.  Healing.

This Sunday, we will be exploring the concept and role of healing in the Christian faith.  We will learn about how God offers healing to each of us and how we can become instruments of God’s healing for others.

If you live in the Lincoln, Nebraska area, come, join us this Sunday, September 25th, at Christ United Methodist Church, as we focus on healing.  Our church is located at 4530 A Street in Lincoln, and our traditional worship services are at 8:30 and 11:00 on Sunday mornings.  Our service this Sunday will include the option of being anointed with oil as a symbol and practice of healing through the love of Jesus Christ.

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

"Forgiveness and Self-Compassion"

            For the past month, we have been exploring self-compassion in a series of proclamations, entitled “Self-Compassion, An Overlooked Christian Virtue.”  This Sunday. September 18th, we conclude this series with an examination of the relationship between self-compassion and forgiveness. 

            In her important book, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself,[1] Dr. Kristin Neff begins by observing that most of us constantly subject ourselves to some of the harshest self-criticism.  She writes,

Most of our self-critical thoughts take the form of an inner dialogue, a constant commentary and evaluation of what we are experiencing.  Because there is no social censure when our inner dialogue is harsh or callous, we often talk to ourselves in an especially brutal way.  ‘You’re so fat and disgusting!’  ‘That was a totally stupid thing to say.’  ‘You’re such a loser.  No wonder nobody wants you.’[2]

In my own pastoral ministry, counselling many different parishioners, I have seen Dr. Neff’s observation repeated again and again.  While there are some notable exceptions, most of us are harshly critical of ourselves.  Yet, as I have suggested throughout this series, these patterns of harsh self-criticism are antithetical to the Christian understanding of God and God’s intention for humanity.

From a Christian perspective, God loves all of Creation—both human and non-human.  Further, since humans are created in God’s image, we are given a special privilege and responsibility to care for all of Creation as God’s specially chosen stewards.  From the moment of our birth, God seeks to enter into a special, loving, intimate relationship with us. 

God seeks us out and encourages us to enter into this special Divine relationship through our Christian faith.  God’s love for us is awesome and beyond our comprehension.  Because of this Divine love, we know that God intends for us to practice self-compassion and learn to love ourselves.  Thus, I have argued that self-compassion is a very important Christian virtue and pivotal for faithful discipleship.   

Later in her book, Kristin Neff delineates three core components of self-compassion:  (1) Self-Kindness; (2) Recognizing that Failure and Disappointments are part of the Human Condition; and (3) Mindfulness.[3]  Very little attention is devoted to forgiveness in Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.  I think this omission is a significant flaw in the book.  In fact, I would argue that forgiveness should actually be a fourth core component of self-compassion.

So, to conclude my series on “Self-Compassion, An Overlooked Christian Value,” I will examine the critical importance of forgiveness—both of self and of others.  Our foundational text for the service will be part of Luke’s account of Christ’s crucifixion (Luke 23:  32-38).  In the Third Gospel, Jesus is taunted by three separate groups of people:  (1) The Jewish leaders who scoff at him, saying “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, his chosen one!” (2) The Roman soldiers who mocked Christ with the words, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” (3) Later, one of the criminals being executed at the same time “derided” Jesus, “Are you not the Messiah?  Save yourself and us!” (Luke 23: 39)

Further, Jesus suffers the indignity of having the Roman soldiers gamble under the cross for his clothes, as he hangs and suffers above them.  In a sick prank, the soldiers also offer Jesus sour wine to drink as he endures the excruciating pain of crucifixion, while his life all too slowly slips away.

Despite the indignities, the humiliations, and the agony of the trial and cross, Jesus says something remarkable and completely unexpected.  Christ forgives his executors and tormentors.  He prays, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23: 34a).  Imagine that.  Jesus actually forgives his executors as they make fun of him and gamble for his clothes.

Jesus’ model of forgiveness is repeated by Stephen, the first Christian martyr, as recounted in Luke’s sequel, The Book of Acts.  As Stephen is stoned to death for his Christian faith, he kneels down and prays, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60). 

History records that other Christian martyrs also forgave their executioners, just before death took them.  Similarly, I will argue that all of Christ's followers are called to forgive those who wrong or harm us.

In my proclamation this weekend, I will also argue that before we can truly forgive others out of Christian love, we must first learn to forgive ourselves out of self-compassion.

If you live in the Lincoln, Nebraska area, come, join us this Sunday, September 18th, at Christ United Methodist Church, as we conclude our exploration of “Self-Compassion, An Overlooked Christian Virtue."  Our church is located at 4530 A Street in Lincoln, and our traditional worship services are at 8:30 and 11:00 on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

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[1] Kirstin Neff, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (New York:  William Morro, An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2011).

[2] Neff, 23-24.

[3] Neff develops these three core components in Part Two, pp. 39-106.

"Self-Compassion In Relation to Compassion for Others"

            For the past month, we have been exploring self-compassion in a series of proclamations, entitled “Self-Compassion, An Overlooked Christian Virtue.”  Recently, there has been a virtual deluge of books promoting self-compassion.  One of these new books, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Dr. Kristin Neff,[i] has served as an inspiration and guide for me as I developed this sermon series.  This Sunday. September 11th, we will explore the relationship between self-compassion and compassion for others.   

            The foundational text for our exploration of compassion and self-compassion is Christ’s well-known parable of “The Good Samaritan” in Luke 10:  25-37.  This text describes an exchange between Jesus and a scribe, or lawyer.  In the early part of this passage, Jesus and the lawyer discuss what one must do to inherit eternal life.  Through a question-and-answer format, they conclude that to inherit eternal life, one must “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”  (Luke 10:  27) 

              However, for our purposes this weekend, the most important portion of this scripture comes next, when the lawyer asks Christ:  “And, who is my neighbor?”  This question was highly charged in the very regimented society of first century Israel.  In Jesus’ society, as in many societies across history, there were clear boundaries which separated people into different groups, with specific rules about how persons were to treat each other.  For instance, there were divisions between men and women, Jews and Gentiles, etc. 

            It is at this point in the debate that Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan.  The parable is his answer to the lawyer’s challenge. Jesus begins the parable with the words:  “A man was going from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead.”  The road from Jerusalem to Jericho was very steep, descending nearly 3300 feet over 17 miles.  It winds through many narrow passes, providing excellent locations for bandits to lie in wait of travelers.  Notice that Jesus provides no details about the man who was beaten and robbed.  Based upon Jesus’ description, the man cannot be classified or categorized in any way.  He is simply a human person in need of assistance. 

            Almost immediately after the attack, there is a ray of hope for the victimized man, a priest is also traveling along the road.  Yet, instead of stopping to help the victim, he passes by on the other side.  Similarly, a Levite passes by without offering assistance.  Within Jewish society, both the priest and the Levite were highly respected persons.  Yet, neither offers the victim any help.  At this point, the parable has reached its climax.  We know that a third person will see the victim and this third person will break the pattern by stopping to help the beaten man.  Undoubtedly, Jesus’ listeners would have expected that this third person will be a very faithful, devout Jew. 

            Yet, Jesus has a surprise for his listeners.  The third person is not a kind, faithful Jew.  Instead, he is a despised and hated Samaritan.  Although both Jews and Samaritans shared a similar faith and similar sacred texts, they disagreed bitterly over how to interpret God’s Holy Word and the implications of that interpretation for how they lived their lives.  For the Samaritans, Mt. Gerizim should be the center of worship, whereas for the Jews the center of worship was the Temple in Jerusalem.  The animosity between Jews and Samaritans was so great that Jews avoided all social contact with Samaritans out of fear that they would become ritually impure.   

            Of course, the man lying in the ditch couldn’t care less about ritual purity.  He is in desperate need of help.  When the Samaritan sees the beaten man, he is moved by pity and compassion.  He stops and offers first aid to the beaten man.  Then, the Samaritan gets the broken man up on his own animal and gets him to an inn where he can rest and recuperate.  The Samaritan even pays the innkeeper to care for the victim. 

            At this point, Jesus asks the lawyer, “Which of the three, do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?”  Still repulsed by the thought of a Samaritan being the hero in the parable, he can only respond:  “The one who showed him compassion.”[ii] 

            This parable is very rich.  It is like a diamond, with many different facets.  However, for our purposes this week, I would like us to focus on a dimension related to our exploration of self-compassion.  We can frame this dimension by asking a question:  “Why did the Samaritan man have compassion on the wounded victim, when the priest and Levite passed by on the other side?”  Afterall, both the priest and Levite were supposed to be men of devout faith and high moral character. 

            It is at this point that research by Dr. Kirstin Neff into self-compassion may prove illuminating in our exploration of the relationship between self-compassion and compassion for others.   

            Dr. Neff is clear that a person can be very compassionate, regardless of whether or not he is self-compassionate to himself.  She writes, “In other research, my colleagues and I have found that self-compassionate people score no higher on general measures of compassionate love, empathy, or altruism—which tap into concern for others’ well-being—than those who lack self-compassion.”[iii]  However, she suggests that having self-compassion for ourselves may help us to cultivate the capacity of compassion for others. 

            As we have already seen in this study of self-compassion, there are certain skills that we can develop in order to promote self-compassion.  These skills of self-compassion can also be important resources for increasing our capacity for compassion of others.   

For instance, one of the three core components of self-compassion is the ability to recognize and acknowledge that we are not the only ones who experience failures, disappointments, and setbacks.  Instead, these negative outcomes are simply part of the shared common human experience.  None of us is perfect; none of us always succeeds at everything we do.   

As Neff observes, “Rather than merely focusing on our own point of view in painful situations…we take the perspective of an ‘other’ toward ourselves.  We respond with kindness and concern to our own human limitations, just as a kind friend or loving parent would.  By seeing our flawed self from an outsider’s perspective, self-compassion allows us to stop judging ourselves so harshly.”[iv] 

But, the ability to take this “outsider’s perspective” to view our own failures and misfortunes also builds our ability to empathize with others.  As Neff continues, “‘Before criticizing somebody, I try to imagine how I would feel if I were in their place.’  By its very nature compassion is relational, stepping back and forth between various perspectives to see the mutuality of the human condition.”[v]  

Similarly, cultivating the capacity for self-kindness, which enhances self-compassion, can also be very important in being kind and compassionate toward others.  And, developing the ability to forgive ourselves strengthens our ability to forgive others.   

Kirstin Neff nicely summarizes this relationship between self-compassion and compassion for others, when she writes:  “Compassion engages our capacity for love, wisdom, and generosity.  …By being more understanding and accepting toward ourselves, we can also be more understanding and accepting toward others.  By honoring the limitations of our own human imperfection, we can be more forgiving of others’ mistakes.”[vi] 

Returning to Christ’s parable of the Good Samaritan, could it be that the Samaritan felt deep compassion towards the bloodied man in the road because he was self-compassionate towards himself?  Whereas, the priest and the Levite did not exhibit compassion and kindness because they were overly active in their criticism of themselves and had stifled their own self-compassion?  Jesus does not provide any clues in his parable.  Yet, these findings by Neff do reiterate once again that in order to love God, our neighbor, and Creation, we must also develop the resources of self-compassion for ourselves.

If you live in the Lincoln, Nebraska area, come, join us this Sunday, September 11th, at Christ United Methodist Church, as we continue our exploration of self-compassion as a Christian virtue; this Sunday exploring the relationship between self-compassion and compassion for others.  Our church is located at 4530 A Street in Lincoln, and our traditional worship services are at 8:30 and 11:00 on Sunday mornings. 

                            Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all

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[i] Kirstin Neff, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (New York:  William Morro, An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2011).

[ii]This exegetical material on Luke 10: 25-37 is taken from an earlier blog post on the same Biblical passage.  See “Who Is Our Neighbor?” 1 August 2015.

[iii] Neff, 188.

[iv] Neff, 191.

[v] Ibid., Emphasis added.

[vi] Neff, 201.

"The Benefits of Self-Compassion"

        During these weeks, we are exploring self-compassion through a sermon series, entitled “Self-Compassion, An Overlooked Christian Virtue.”  Recently, there has been a virtual deluge of books promoting self-compassion.  One of these new books, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Dr. Kristin Neff,[1] has served as an inspiration and guide for me as I developed this sermon series.  This Sunday. September 4th, we will explore the benefits of self-compassion as advanced by Dr. Neff in her book.

            In her book, Kirstin Neff highlights four important benefits of self-compassion. 

1.  Self-compassion helps us manage and control negative emotional states, such as anxiety, depression, and fear.

2.   Self-compassion provides us with an underlying emotional resilience, which helps us      to recover faster from significant failures, disappointments, and setbacks.

3.  Self-compassion helps us to accept our mistakes and learn from them.

4.  Self-compassion cultivates self-confidence and a sense of security, which motivates us to set high goals and empowers us to do our best.

            As I acknowledged in the first sermon in this series, Christian scripture and tradition have frequently been interpreted to promote individual, harsh self-criticism and sacrifice—which is in rigid contradiction to self-compassion.  For instance, the scriptures report that Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24)  Yet, while on the surface the command to take up our cross may appear to be diametrically opposed to self-compassion, we saw that a Christian could be committed to following Christ and practicing self-compassion, even when faithfulness to Christ required taking up our cross and making hard sacrifices.

In the second installment last week, we looked at Christ’s claim that the most important components of faithful discipleship are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength,” while secondly loving our neighbor as our self (Mark 12:  28-34a).  As I suggested last week, we love in response to God’s awesome and incomprehensible love for us.  As it is written in 1 John 4:19, “We love because he first loved us.”  We love God, our neighbors, Creation—and, ourselves—because God first loved us.  Last Sunday, I suggested that if we do not have self-compassion, then we have not truly accepted God’s love for us and we are incapable of loving God, our neighbor or God’s good Creation. 

In my proclamation this week, I will suggest that Jesus models self-compassion through the self-care that we see in his life and ministry.  One example of this self-care appears in our principal scripture reading for this week, which is Mark 1:  35-39.  This passage describes the beginning of Christ’s ministry.  Earlier in the chapter, Jesus journeys to the small city of Capernaum, where he teaches in the synagogue and heals a person with mental illness.  Jesus intends to spend the night with the family of Simon Peter and Andrew, two of his disciples.  However, when the townspeople learn where Jesus is staying, Mark reports that the entire city gathers around the house in order to see Jesus and have him heal their sick (see Mark 1: 29-31). 

We can easily imagine how tired Jesus must have been by the time the last person went home that night.  In the next verses, Mark describes how Jesus took time for self-care the next day: 

35 In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. ³⁶And Simon and his companions hunted for him. ³⁷When they found him, they said to him, ‘Everyone is searching for you.’ ³⁸He answered, ‘Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.’ ³⁹And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.  (Mark 1:  35-39)

In the midst of heavy responsibilities of teaching and ministry, Jesus withdraws to take care of his soul through prayer and silence.  In Mark 6:46, Jesus again withdraws from the crowds to be alone and in prayer.  I believe that caring for the spiritual dimension of our lives is critical for self-care.

            We also know that self-care involves maintaining good relationships with our family and friends, by setting aside social time to be with them.  John, the Gospel writer, recounts how, early in his ministry, Jesus went with his mother and disciples to a wedding in Cana of Galilee.  At the wedding, there was a major social faux pas, when all of the wine was drunk by the guests, which would cause great shame and embarrassment for the wedding party.  At his mother’s insistence, Jesus helps the bridegroom save face by miraculously changing water into wine (see John 2:  1-11). 

For John, the Gospel writer, the point of this story is that in performing this miracle Jesus provided the first of seven signs, revealing that he is the long awaited Messiah.  However, in this social setting, celebrating with his mother and friends, I suggest that we also see evidence of Christ’s self-care through social interactions and the maintenance of personal relationships.

Although I freely acknowledge that Christ’s self-care is not a focus in any of the four Gospels, which tell us about his life, teachings, and ministry.  Nonetheless, I believe that we can see evidence of Christ’s self-care in these and other stories.  For instance, healing was a vital component of Christ’s ministry and in those stories of healing, we also gain a glimpse of the role of self-care in his ministry. 

We know that self-compassion involves more than self-care.  It also entails being able to forgive ourselves and being kind to ourselves even when we fail.  These may be areas of self-compassion which Christ, as the Son of God, does not need to perform.  Yet, clearly, Christ intends for his followers to practice caring self-compassion, and he models self-care throughout his life and ministry.

If you live in the Lincoln, Nebraska area, come, join us this Sunday, September 4th, at Christ United Methodist Church, as we continue our exploration of self-compassion as a Christian virtue.  Our church is located at 4530 A Street in Lincoln, and our traditional worship services are at 8:30 and 11:00 on Sunday mornings. 

     Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

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[1] Kirstin Neff, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (New York:  William Morro, An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2011).