"The Benefits of Self-Compassion"

        During these weeks, we are exploring self-compassion through a sermon series, entitled “Self-Compassion, An Overlooked Christian Virtue.”  Recently, there has been a virtual deluge of books promoting self-compassion.  One of these new books, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, by Dr. Kristin Neff,[1] has served as an inspiration and guide for me as I developed this sermon series.  This Sunday. September 4th, we will explore the benefits of self-compassion as advanced by Dr. Neff in her book.

            In her book, Kirstin Neff highlights four important benefits of self-compassion. 

1.  Self-compassion helps us manage and control negative emotional states, such as anxiety, depression, and fear.

2.   Self-compassion provides us with an underlying emotional resilience, which helps us      to recover faster from significant failures, disappointments, and setbacks.

3.  Self-compassion helps us to accept our mistakes and learn from them.

4.  Self-compassion cultivates self-confidence and a sense of security, which motivates us to set high goals and empowers us to do our best.

            As I acknowledged in the first sermon in this series, Christian scripture and tradition have frequently been interpreted to promote individual, harsh self-criticism and sacrifice—which is in rigid contradiction to self-compassion.  For instance, the scriptures report that Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24)  Yet, while on the surface the command to take up our cross may appear to be diametrically opposed to self-compassion, we saw that a Christian could be committed to following Christ and practicing self-compassion, even when faithfulness to Christ required taking up our cross and making hard sacrifices.

In the second installment last week, we looked at Christ’s claim that the most important components of faithful discipleship are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength,” while secondly loving our neighbor as our self (Mark 12:  28-34a).  As I suggested last week, we love in response to God’s awesome and incomprehensible love for us.  As it is written in 1 John 4:19, “We love because he first loved us.”  We love God, our neighbors, Creation—and, ourselves—because God first loved us.  Last Sunday, I suggested that if we do not have self-compassion, then we have not truly accepted God’s love for us and we are incapable of loving God, our neighbor or God’s good Creation. 

In my proclamation this week, I will suggest that Jesus models self-compassion through the self-care that we see in his life and ministry.  One example of this self-care appears in our principal scripture reading for this week, which is Mark 1:  35-39.  This passage describes the beginning of Christ’s ministry.  Earlier in the chapter, Jesus journeys to the small city of Capernaum, where he teaches in the synagogue and heals a person with mental illness.  Jesus intends to spend the night with the family of Simon Peter and Andrew, two of his disciples.  However, when the townspeople learn where Jesus is staying, Mark reports that the entire city gathers around the house in order to see Jesus and have him heal their sick (see Mark 1: 29-31). 

We can easily imagine how tired Jesus must have been by the time the last person went home that night.  In the next verses, Mark describes how Jesus took time for self-care the next day: 

35 In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. ³⁶And Simon and his companions hunted for him. ³⁷When they found him, they said to him, ‘Everyone is searching for you.’ ³⁸He answered, ‘Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.’ ³⁹And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.  (Mark 1:  35-39)

In the midst of heavy responsibilities of teaching and ministry, Jesus withdraws to take care of his soul through prayer and silence.  In Mark 6:46, Jesus again withdraws from the crowds to be alone and in prayer.  I believe that caring for the spiritual dimension of our lives is critical for self-care.

            We also know that self-care involves maintaining good relationships with our family and friends, by setting aside social time to be with them.  John, the Gospel writer, recounts how, early in his ministry, Jesus went with his mother and disciples to a wedding in Cana of Galilee.  At the wedding, there was a major social faux pas, when all of the wine was drunk by the guests, which would cause great shame and embarrassment for the wedding party.  At his mother’s insistence, Jesus helps the bridegroom save face by miraculously changing water into wine (see John 2:  1-11). 

For John, the Gospel writer, the point of this story is that in performing this miracle Jesus provided the first of seven signs, revealing that he is the long awaited Messiah.  However, in this social setting, celebrating with his mother and friends, I suggest that we also see evidence of Christ’s self-care through social interactions and the maintenance of personal relationships.

Although I freely acknowledge that Christ’s self-care is not a focus in any of the four Gospels, which tell us about his life, teachings, and ministry.  Nonetheless, I believe that we can see evidence of Christ’s self-care in these and other stories.  For instance, healing was a vital component of Christ’s ministry and in those stories of healing, we also gain a glimpse of the role of self-care in his ministry. 

We know that self-compassion involves more than self-care.  It also entails being able to forgive ourselves and being kind to ourselves even when we fail.  These may be areas of self-compassion which Christ, as the Son of God, does not need to perform.  Yet, clearly, Christ intends for his followers to practice caring self-compassion, and he models self-care throughout his life and ministry.

If you live in the Lincoln, Nebraska area, come, join us this Sunday, September 4th, at Christ United Methodist Church, as we continue our exploration of self-compassion as a Christian virtue.  Our church is located at 4530 A Street in Lincoln, and our traditional worship services are at 8:30 and 11:00 on Sunday mornings. 

     Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

---

[1] Kirstin Neff, Self-Compassion, The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (New York:  William Morro, An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2011).