"We Are Not Alone"

            I am back after taking some time off for vacation and then continuing education.  I return to the pulpit on a very special Sunday.  This weekend Christians around the world will celebrate “All Saints Day,” a day set aside to remember and give thanks for friends, family, and other loved ones who have died.   At Meriden United Methodist Church we celebrate All Saints Sunday by reading the names of our loved ones, with a chime ringing after each name has been lifted up.  The names of our deceased loved ones are read as the congregation receives Holy Communion, reminding us of God’s promise that we will all be reunited in God’s Kingdom.

            My message this weekend, as we remember and give thanks for our loved ones, will be grounded in Hebrews 12: 1-3.  I deeply treasure the book of Hebrews and especially this passage.  However, in order to fully understand and appreciate this passage, we must understand its placement in the sweep of the overall argument in Hebrews. 

To fully understand Hebrews 12: 1-3, we must begin with the previous chapter, when the writer provides this definition of faith:  “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  He continues in 11: 2-3 by observing, “Indeed by faith our ancestors received approval.  By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was made from things that are not visible.” 

From this point forward, to the very end of Chapter 11, the writer piles example on top of example of the faith of our ancestors in the faith.  For instance, he reminds us of the faith of Moses and the Hebrews, when he writes:  “By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as if it were dry land, but when the Egyptians attempted to do so [without faith] they were drowned.” (v. 29)

In Chapter 11, the writer of Hebrews goes on and on and on, giving example after example after example of the faith of our spiritual ancestors from the Bible.  Then, our passage from the 12th chapter begins triumphantly with “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…”.  

At this point, the writer of Hebrews adopts the intriguing metaphor of a distance race, such as a road race or a cross country race.  He suggests that living faithfully as disciples of Christ is akin to running an endurance race.  To put it together, verse 1 goes like this:  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us.” 

For the writer of Hebrews, we do not run the race of faithful discipleship alone.  No, we are surrounded by this crowd of spiritual ancestors, who have already completed the course but are watching us run.  This “cloud of witnesses” are not passive, disinterested spectators, either.  They surround and uplift us as we run our course of faith, pulling for us to run with endurance to the very end.  And, we know that we can successfully complete the course because this crowd of spiritual ancestors has already completed the course through faith.  We know that we can complete the course because they have already completed it.

 

In my message this Sunday, I will suggest that the crowd of spiritual ancestors watching us run our races is not restricted simply to the characters from the Bible.  Instead, I will argue that our loved ones are also part of the “cloud of witnesses”—that deeply engaged crowd of spectators—who are actively pulling for us –and offer us inspiration—as we run our course.

For the writer of Hebrews, we can take encouragement and inspiration from the “cloud of witnesses” who watch us run.  Yet, as he continues in verses 2-3, he calls upon us to look to Jesus as our role model for what it means to live faithful lives of discipleship.  Further, the writer emphasizes the quality of endurance, as essential if we are to remain faithful and not grow weary. 

We can see this quality of endurance modeled in the life, ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  As the writer exhorts us in verse 2, we are to look “to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of God.”

 

Come, join us this Sunday, November 2nd, as we remember and celebrate the lives of our friends, family members, and other loved ones—and, as we reflect on the assurance that they have joined the “great crowd of witnesses” who surround and uplift us, as we run with endurance the race of faith that is set before us.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

"Did He Really Mean That?"

            This Sunday (Oct. 12th), I will complete my sermon series on “Building Stronger Relationships.”  Over the course of this seven-week series, we have looked at a diversity of relationships:

Ø  relationships within our Families

Ø  relationships with our Friends

Ø  relationships with Ourselves

Ø  relationships with God

Ø  relationships with Nature

Ø  relationships with Strangers

This week we conclude by looking at relationships with our enemies.  This is a very rich topic and there are several different directions that we could take and explore.  For instance,  we could examine the relationships that we have with enemies of the United States, such as our fear and hatred of the enemy terrorist group ISIL. 

            Of all these diverse options, I have decided to focus our reflections at the personal level. In other words, how do we build stronger relationships with our personal enemies or rivals.  Throughout this series, we have focused on the following three questions:

Ø  What kinds of relationships does God intend for us to have and maintain?

Ø  What kind of relationship-partner does God call us to be?

Ø  How can we be faithful to God in the manner that we live out our relationships?

So, basically, our concern this coming Sunday will be what kind of relationships does God expect us to have with our personal enemies and rivals?  What kind of relationship does God expect us to have with those persons who have wronged us; or harmed us; or cheated us; been our bitter rivals at work or in our families or in our communities?

            My reflections this weekend will be based upon a portion of Jesus’ famous “Sermon on the Mount” as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew.  Specifically, we will be reflecting on Matthew 5: 43-48.  This scripture contains these words by Jesus:  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”

            For some who are new Christians, this saying by Jesus may be unbelievable—literally.  Does Jesus really mean that we are to love our enemies!?!  For others who grew up in the church, this saying may be so familiar that we no longer take it very seriously.  In our worship this week, I am going to ask everyone, both new and long-established Christians, to try and hear this saying for the first time.  I am going to ask that we let Jesus' admonition to sink in and that we take it very seriously.  If we do that, then most of us are going to find ourselves questioning; asking, “Does he really mean that we are to love our enemies!?!”

            I am convinced that before we can build stronger relationships with our enemies we must first hear Jesus’ saying again for the first time.  On Sunday, we will ask why Jesus thinks that it is important to love our enemies.  What we will learn is that Jesus calls upon us to love our enemies because God already loves and cares for our enemies.  It is important that we come to see our enemies as God sees them, as beloved sons and daughters.  Just as with strangers, we must develop the ability to see the face of Jesus in the face of our enemies. 

            And, there’s more.  Jesus reminds us that as his followers we need to live our lives differently from the everyday norm.  As his followers, we are to live as “resurrection people” who are sons and daughters of God, confident that in the end God will prevail and God’s Reign will be established on Earth -- and death shall no longer threaten us.   

And, there’s even more than that.  Come, join us this Sunday, Oct.12th, at Meriden United Methodist Church, as we explore what it means to “love your enemies” as disciples who are called to begin living as a resurrection people.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

"On Seeing Jesus in the Face of the Stranger"

            What kind of relationship does God expect us to have with strangers?

            Over the past six weeks, I have been exploring different types of relationships in my Sunday morning proclamations.  In this sermon series, I have been asking how we can build stronger relationships across the myriad types of relationships that we maintain.  In past sermons, we have reflected on relationships with families, friends, ourselves, God, and nature.  This Sunday, October 5th, I want to focus on our relationship with strangers. 

            One aspect of post-modern American culture is that we regularly encounter and interact with strangers.  This is true regardless of where we live, even in small towns, such as Meriden, the small town where I live.  Even if we live in a small village—where everyone literally does know our name—most of us range beyond our homes into more populated areas for work or shopping or entertainment.  Encountering strangers is part of daily, social interaction.

            It’s human nature to fear strangers.  Television shows, movies, and many novels are replete with creative stories of how strangers can hurt us.  Parents of small children have special cause for concern, and most parents are constantly warning their children to beware of strangers.  But, what kind of relationship does God call upon us to have with strangers?

            There are several interesting stories in the Bible that could provide models for the type of relationships with strangers that God calls upon us to have.  See, for example, the story of the prophet Elisha and the wealthy woman of Shunem in 2 Kings 4, or the story of the prophet Elijah and the poor widow of Zarephath in 1 Kings 17.  There are other stories, as well.  However, for this week I want to focus on the story of Abraham and Sarah and the three men in Genesis 18: 1-15.

            At the beginning of Chapter 18, the reader learns that the three men are actually God, two angels.  But, throughout the story neither Abraham nor his wife, Sarah, realize the true identity of the three strangers.  As the story begins, Abraham is sitting in his tent in the wilderness in the hot, middle part of the day.  Suddenly, three men appear.  Instantly, Abraham leaps from his tent and rushes out to greet the strangers.  As was the custom in his culture, Abraham bows in front of the strangers and welcomes them.  Then, he immediately brings water for them to wash and sets about preparing food and drink for the strangers. 

Abraham is not cheap in his hospitality, either.  He has Sarah prepare cakes from the highest quality flour and he prepares a meal featuring a veal calf, which would be the best meal he has to offer.  As the strangers eat the meal set before them, Abraham stands by, attentive to their every need.  Later, God promises Sarah that she will have a child, despite the fact that she is older and well past her reproductive years.  Then, Abraham helps the three strangers with directions as they set off for their ultimate destination.

Perhaps in this story Abraham and Sarah provide the paradigm for how God intends for us to treat all strangers.  Abraham and Sarah respond with immediate hospitality, when the three strangers come up to them, out of the wilderness.  They are respectful and attentive to their needs.  They do not hold back in their hospitality, but rather provide the best of all that they have.  The strangers are welcomed, cared for, and affirmed with respect.

Of course, the reader understands that these are no ordinary strangers.  Instead, we know that the strangers are really God and two attending angels.  But, what if we looked for the divine in the faces of the strangers whom we encounter?  How would that change and shape our relationships with strangers?

The great Russian writer, Leo Tolstoy, has a wonderful short story that illustrates my point.  Entitled, “Where Love Is, God Is,” the story tells of an old shoemaker, named Martin.  Martin lives by himself in a basement apartment because his wife and children have all died.  One night Martin has a dream in which God informs Martin that God will visit him the following day.  The next morning, Martin sits by his window, repairing shoes as he awaits God.  Throughout the day, Martin has several encounters:

Ø    It is winter and he watches an old man, Stepanitch, shoveling snow from the sidewalk across the street. Martin decides to invite Stepanitch into his apartment to warm himself up and share some food and hot drink.

Ø    Later, Martin sees a young woman with a baby outside in the cold.  The woman does not have a coat.  So, Martin invites the woman to come inside with her baby in order to warm herself and share some food and hot drink.  Before she leaves, Martin gives her one of his coats.

Ø    Finally, Martin sees a young boy trying to steal apples from an older woman.  An argument between the two ensues.  So, Martin goes outside to mediate the dispute and share love and compassion for both the boy and the woman.

Despite these interactions, God never visits Martin that day.  Bitterly disappointed, Martin prepares for bed, when he has another vision.  In the second vision, Martin perceives the divine in the face of the old man, Stepanitch; in the faces of the young woman and baby; in the faces of the boy and older woman.  Martin realizes that God had, indeed, visited him that day—not once, but three times.  Martin also realizes that in extending hospitality on these three occasions he was also accepting God.

            In this fable, I believe that we learn the key to building the stronger relationships with strangers that God intends.  That key is to perceive Jesus in the faces of the strangers we encounter and then to act, accordingly.

 

Come, join us this Sunday, Oct. 5th, at Meriden United Methodist Church, as we explore the implications of striving to see Christ in the faces of everyone whom we meet.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

The Spiritual Dimension of Our Relationship with Nature

          For many who follow the Jewish calendar, this has been a momentous week, as Wednesday marked the beginning of a “Sabbatical year.”  A Sabbatical year occurs every seventh year on the Jewish calendar.  Established by God, one of the principal intents of the Sabbath year is to provide a time of rest, renewal, and recovery for wildlife in general and agricultural soil in particular. 

            One of the scriptural passages that establishes the Sabbatical year, and explains God’s rationale for requiring it, occurs in Leviticus 25.  Here’s a portion of the chapter that explains the sabbatical:  “…but in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of complete rest for the land, a Sabbath for the Lord:  you shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard.  You shall not reap the aftergrowth of your harvest or gather the grapes of your unpruned vine:  it shall be a year of complete rest for the land.” (25:4-5)

            This Sunday (Sept. 28th), my message will be grounded in Leviticus 25, as I continue my sermon series, “Building Stronger Relationships.”  In the first sermons in this series, we have explored building stronger relationships within our families, with our friends, with ourselves, and with the Divine.  This weekend, we will examine building a stronger relationship with Nature.

            I should note that Christian clergy rarely preach from the Biblical book of Leviticus.  There are some good reasons for this.  The major focus of Leviticus revolves around rules for the Jewish people.  Much of the book is devoted to instructions concerning the proper procedures for conducting rituals; maintaining proper ritual purity; correct administration of the Temple; and regulations regarding the appropriate sacrifices for atonement.  None of this seems especially relevant for twenty-first Christians living in the post-modern United States.  As a result, most of us Christian clergy rarely—if ever—preach on Leviticus, and it consequently gets marginalized within the scriptures.

            Despite these difficulties, I will suggest in my proclamation this Sunday that Leviticus actually has a lot to tell us twenty-first century Christians about our relationship with nature—if we approach the text appropriately.  The key to interpreting Leviticus is to recognize that it is all about holiness and, for Leviticus, holiness means “separateness.”   God is holy, which is to say that God is separate from humans in two different senses:  First, God is separate from the rest of Creation because God is immortal, omnipotent, omniscient, and completely other than humans and other creatures.  Secondly, God and humans are separated by a moral gulf because of human sinfulness.

            Leviticus is also about human holiness, and this has implications for its first audience:  the Hebrew people.  In the first place, the Hebrew people have been separated, or set apart, from others as God’s Chosen People.  In choosing Israel, God has created a royal priesthood who will be responsible for helping to heal and repair the world.  As God’s Chosen People, the Hebrews must live ethical lives that are defined by maintaining right relationships in all areas of life.  Thus, an important focus in Leviticus is spelling out proper moral and legal procedures for living.  These procedures define right relationships in terms of family, community, worship, commerce, and nature. 

Leviticus 25 spells out what God intends as the right relationship for humans to have with nature.  As we saw above, treating nature with respect and creating regular opportunities for nature to rest, renew, and recover are at the heart of a right relationship with nature.  But there is more.  Later in Leviticus 25, God clarifies even further the human relationship with nature:  “…for the land is mine; with me you are but aliens and tenants.  Throughout the land that you hold, you shall provide for the redemption of the land.” (verses 23-24)  God is very clear.  Humans are short-term tenants on this planet, which ultimately belongs to God—and not to us.  Yet, even as short-timers, we are still responsible for the care and redemption of nature.

Of course, there is an obvious concern about the feasibility of God’s plan for giving the land a sabbatical every seventh year.  The central question comes down to this:  “If no crops are planted every seventh year, how will there be enough food to feed all the people as well as all of the livestock in the subsequent eighth year?” 

Actually, God addresses this concern in Leviticus 25.  God’s basic response to this question is simply this:  “Trust me.”  God promises to provide enough surplus to carry faithful communities through the years without planted crops.  God says, “I will order my blessing for you in the sixth year, so that it will yield a crop for three years.”  (verse 21)  God promises not just enough surplus to get by, but rather God promises a bountiful harvest so that there is enough food to carry through into the eighth and ninth years, after crops are being planted and harvested again.  It turns out that maintaining a right relationship with nature, is the same as maintaining right relationships with family, community, worship, and in commerce.  Ultimately, all of these relationships flow out of a right relationship with God:  maintaining a right relationship with nature flows out of faithfully trusting in God’s love and providence.

This makes our relationship with nature a spiritual relationship.

Yet, on the contrary, we live in a society where environmental issues have become politicized.  On the one hand, there are individuals such as Tom Steyer, who vowed to donate $50 million in political contributions this year to support candidates committed to addressing global climate change.  On the other hand, there are the “change deniers” who see vast leftwing conspiracies among scientists and question their motivations, when they report scientific evidence confirming climate change.  Yes, the environment has definitely become politicized.

We Christians are called by God to be different.  We are called to holiness.  That is, we are set aside as God’s chosen people.  Our relationship with the divine should shape and mold our other relationships, including our relationship with nature.  Regardless of our politics, whether we are Republicans or Democrats or Independents, our relationship with nature should transcend our political perspectives. 

Our relationship with nature should be shaped and informed by the realization that each of us are just short-term caretakers of wondrous beauty that ultimately belongs to God.  We are entrusted with redeeming nature.  Ultimately, our relationship with nature is spiritual because this relationship grows out of our relationship with God.  That is what Leviticus 25 has to teach us.

Come, join us this Sunday, Sept. 28th, at Meriden United Methodist Church, as we explore the implications of what Leviticus 25 teaches us concerning our relationship with nature.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

Becoming Accountable to God

            This Sunday (Sept. 21st), I will continue my series of messages on “Building Stronger Relationships.”  In the first three sermons, we have explored building stronger relationships within our families, with our friends, and with ourselves.  This weekend, we will examine building a stronger relationship with the Divine.  Throughout this series, I have wanted us to focus on the following three questions:

Ø  What kinds of relationships does God intend for us to have and maintain?

Ø  What kind of relationship-partner does God call us to be?

Ø  How can we be faithful to God in the manner that we live out our relationships?

My scripture for this week is the “Parable of the Sower” in Matthew 13: 1-9, 18-23.  In this parable, Jesus describes a farmer who goes out into the field to plant his crop.  He sows the seed by scattering it into the field. 

As he scatters the seed, some falls upon a pathway, where the soil is packed hard and worn by foot traffic.  This seed was quickly eaten up by birds.  Other seed fell on rocky ground, which did not have very deep soil.  This seed quickly germinated and sprang up, but it was soon scorched, withered, and died because there was no room to put down deep roots for moisture and stability.  Still other seed fell in an area where there were a lot of weeds and thistles.  This seed began to grow, but it was quickly choked out by the weeds and thistles.

Despite these failures, some seed fell in the good, rich, deep soil.  This seed germinated, sprouted, put down deep roots, and flourished.  The plants from this seed produced grain in large quantities of hundredfold or sixtyfold or thirtyfold. 

When Jesus finished the parable, the disciples were baffled by what it meant.  So, after they were alone, Jesus explained the parable in verses 18-23.  The sower of the seed refers to Jesus himself and the seed represents the word and teaching of Christ.  As Jesus explains, the seed that falls upon the path refers to those who hear the word of God but are confused and do not understand. 

The seed that falls on the rocky ground signifies those who initially hear the word of God with great joy, but then lose their faith and fall away when they learn that being a follower of Christ is not always easy and requires sacrifice.  While the seed that falls among the thistles and weeds represents those who hear the word of God, but then their spiritual lives are choked out by other activities and distractions, such as “the cares of the world and the lure of wealth"(v. 22).

Finally, the seed that falls in the deep, rich soil refers to persons who hear the word of God and allow it to shape who they are.  The good soil refers to those who have a strong relationship with the Divine.  It refers to those who are growing in their faith and have a strong spirituality.

One of the most important aspects of this parable is the inevitability of the bountiful harvest of grain.  In both the parable (v. 8) and Jesus’ subsequent explanation of the parable (v. 23), there is the assumption that God will provide a bountiful harvest:  thirtyfold or sixtyfold or even a hundredfold.  God will provide.  The only question is whether each person who hears the parable will be part of the harvest.  Ultimately, this is a question about our accountability to God.

As hearers of the Good News, will we provide rich soil so that God’s Word can take root and grow within us, enriching our lives with a strong spiritual dimension?  Or, as hearers of the Good News will we offer nothing except a hard path or rocky dirt or soil infested with thistles and weeds?  In other words, do we have a strong relationship with God?  Or, do we allow confusion or difficulties or distractions to interfere with our spirituality?

The key to building a strong relationship with the Divine is making ourselves accountable to God.  To have a strong relationship with the Divine we must make that relationship a priority in our lives and we must work on our relationship with God through prayer and meditation and study and sacrifice and commitment.  It is not always easy, but it is always worthwhile because we will never be fully happy and flourishing without a strong, vibrant spirituality.

 

Come, join us this Sunday, Sept. 21st, at Meriden United Methodist Church, as we explore the spiritual practices for a stronger relationship with the Divine.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

"Becoming Our Own Best Friend"

            As I continue my sermon series on “Building Stronger Relationships,” this weekend (September 14th) I want to focus on building a stronger relationship with ourselves.  Our relationship with ourselves is complex and there are many different foci which I could choose for this weekend.  Ultimately, I decided to focus on the self-directed guilt and shame that most of us afflict upon ourselves. 

Brené Brown, an American professor, who has studied shame in American culture, observes that “shame is an unspoken epidemic in our culture.”  Further, she claims that men and women experience shame differently because of differing cultural expectations.  Women find themselves in a cultural web of “unobtainable, conflicting expectations” of who they are supposed to be.  Shame manifests itself as not being able to measure up to this impossible standard.   Alternatively, for men, shame occurs whenever they are perceived as being weak.[i]

Shame is paralyzing and deforming.  It prevents us from becoming the strong, joyful, flourishing persons that God intended.  Brown elaborates by noting that shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, aggression, and eating disorders. 

But, where do we find this personal courage to open ourselves up to vulnerability in order to demolish that debilitating shame?

My reflections this weekend will be grounded in John 7:53-8:11.  This passage is usually known as the story about “the woman caught in adultery.”  It begins with some Jewish religious leaders who bring a woman caught in adultery and make her stand in front of Jesus.  They ask Jesus if he agrees that the woman should be stoned to death for her sexual indiscretion, as called for in the Hebrew law.  The scriptural passage makes it clear that these Jewish religious leaders are using the adulterous woman to set a trap for Jesus.  For them, this woman is nothing more than a pawn in a theological chess match with Jesus.

When Jesus finally responds to his interlocutors, he says:  “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  Slowly, one by one, beginning with the eldest, Jesus’s theological opponents dissolve back into the crowd and slink away.  Eventually, the only person before Jesus is the woman caught in adultery.  With all of her accusers gone, Jesus says to the woman, “I do not condemn you, either.  Go your way and from now on do not sin again.”

It’s hard to over-state the guilt and shame which the woman caught in adultery must have felt, within that historical context.  It’s conceivable that as she stood before Jesus this woman was stoical—or, even defiant.  However, I think that when most of us try to imagine this scene, we picture the woman as sobbing hysterically and perhaps even physically quivering in fear and humiliation.  We can barely imagine the relief and joy that she must have felt, when Jesus forgave her and offered her healing from her brokenness of shame and guilt.

But here’s the thing:  Jesus offers us the same forgiveness and healing in our brokenness of shame and guilt.  Through our Christian faith, we should be able to tap into this love and healing which Jesus offers to us.  Over thirty years of ministry, I have noticed that the person whom many of us have the hardest time forgiving is ourselves.  Yet, regardless of what we have done or who we have become.  Regardless of how despicable we have been.  Regardless of how far short we have fallen from being the persons whom we aspired to be.  Jesus is willing to forgive us.  Jesus was willing to die for us.  So, if Jesus is willing to forgive us, then just perhaps we can find a way to forgive ourselves, as well.

In her research into shame, Brown has discovered that a tripartite cocktail of secrecy-silence-judgment fuel shame.  The antidote to this lethal cocktail, according to Brown, is empathy and the ability to share our vulnerability.  Interestingly, Brown claims that the ability to be vulnerable is “our most accurate measure of courage.”  For Brown, vulnerability is not weakness; vulnerability is strength.  Brown claims further that vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.

As persons of faith, Christians have a special source of strength to be vulnerable.  We know that even when we are vulnerable, God still loves us and watches over us.  Through his life, ministry, and crucifixion, Jesus provides a model of how vulnerability can be a form of strength and courage.  Through his resurrection, Jesus provides the ultimate guarantee that no matter what happens we will prevail through God’s love and care. 

By tapping into God’s love and care, we can become our own best friends.  Through our faith, we can banish shame and guilt – and we can become strong, joyful, flourishing persons, just as God intended.

 

Come, join us this Sunday, September 14th, at Meriden United Methodist Church, as we explore further what it means to be our own best friend.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.

---

[i] Brené Brown, “Listening to Shame,” TED Talk, available online at http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en, accessed 4 September 2014.

"Building Stronger Relationships: True Friendship"

            This is the second installment in my sermon series on “Building Stronger Relationships.”  As noted last week, I want to focus on the following questions in this series:

Ø  What kinds of relationships does God intend for us to have and maintain?

Ø  What kind of relationship-partner does God call us to be?

Ø  How can we be faithful to God in the manner that we live out our relationships?

Whereas last weekend we began the series by exploring family relationships, this Sunday, September 7th, I want to concentrate on the relationship between friends.  In his book, Nicomachean Ethics, the Greek philosopher Aristotle explores the concept of friendship in great depth.  In his analysis, Aristotle identifies three different categories of friendship:

1.      Friendship based on utility.  These friendships arise because both persons get something out of the relationship.  For instance, two business owners may cultivate a friendship because they depend upon one another’s business in order to be successful in their own business.  Their friendship may include things such as occasional social activities together, remembering one another’s birthdays and anniversaries, and small gifts or cards at Christmas time.  Yet, the grounding for their friendship is utility—what they get out of the relationship.  For instance, if one business person decides to retire, then the friendship would dissolve.

2.      Friendship based on pleasure.  In these cases, friendships arise because the two persons derive joy and pleasure from one another’s company, based upon each other’s looks or wit or some other quality.  For example, we might say to ourselves, “I must invite X to my Halloween party because she always tells funny stories and we will all enjoy ourselves, if she comes.” 

3.      True Friendships.  For Aristotle, there was a decided superficial quality to the first two types of friendship, which led him to propose a third type of friendship that we might call, “true friends.”  True friendships contain the first two types of friendships.  In other words, true friends are mutually beneficial to one another and they bring each other joy and pleasure, as well.  Yet at the same time, there is a deeper, more enduring dimension to true friendships.  For Aristotle, true friends bring out the best qualities in one another and they help one another to be good persons and to develop a virtuous character.

Even though Aristotle lived at a different time and in a completely different social context, I have always appreciated his analysis of friendship.  True friends are more than flatterers.  They are honest and sometimes they tell us what we need to hear—even though it’s not what we want to hear.  True friends are also loyal.  That is, they remain faithful to our relationship, regardless of how badly things are going for us.  For Aristotle, there is a complementarity in true friendship, where each friend makes the other one a better person.

           One of the best examples of true friends is the story of David and Jonathan in the Bible.  Their story occurs in 1 Samuel.  Jonathan is from royalty; he is the son of King Saul, who was the first king of Israel.  By contrast, David comes from a much humbler family background.  Yet, David proves to be a great warrior.  We first meet David in 1 Samuel 17, when he saves the day for the Israelite Army by defeating the Philistine giant, Goliath, in hand-to-hand combat.  After the Israelites rout the Philistines, David joins the army.  Over time, he rises to the rank of General in the army.  During this same time, David and Jonathan develop a deep friendship, which would meet Aristotle’s criteria for a true friendship. 

           Jonathan’s father, King Saul, has a love-hate relationship with David.  On the one hand, Saul really appreciates David’s fighting ability and his leadership skills.  With David as their leader, the Israelite Army becomes very successful, winning battle after battle.  On the other hand, Saul feels threatened by David’s success.  During the victory celebration after one battle, for example, the women sing: 

“Saul has killed his thousands,

And David his ten thousands.” (1 Samuel 18: 7)

           Over time, I believe that Saul becomes mentally ill.  His mentally illness manifests itself in sudden outbursts of extreme violence.  By 1 Samuel 20, David has begun to fear for his life, and he shares his fears with his friend, Jonathan.  At first, Jonathan is skeptical of David’s concern, but eventually Jonathan begins to wonder.  The two friends decide to check out David’s concern with a sort of experiment.  David decides not to attend a major festival, which  he would normally be expected to attend.  If King Saul notices his absence and questions where David is, then Jonathan is to explain David’s absence as the result of a family commitment. 

           At the festival, King Saul does notice David’s absence and he asks where David is.  When King Saul hears Jonathan’s explanation of David’s absence, he becomes extremely angry.  At the same time, King Saul sees through his son, Jonathan, and perceives that Jonathan and David are colluding together.  This causes King Saul to also become angry with his own son.  He tells Jonathan, “For as long as the son of Jesse [David] lives upon the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established.  Now send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.” (2 Samuel 20:31)

           In his heart, Jonathan realizes there is some truth to his father’s words.  If he lives, David will ultimately become king instead of Jonathan.  Yet, Jonathan and David are true friends.  So, instead of betraying David, Jonathan actually helps him to flee from King Saul’s wrath—even though the act of saving his friend means that ultimately Jonathan will never become king himself. 

           As noted above, the story of Jonathan and David is a perfect example of true friendship as understood by Aristotle.  The two friends are fiercely loyal to one another; they are honest with one another; and they make each other better persons.  But, the relationship between Jonathan and David has one other quality, as well.  The two friends are willing to make sacrifices for one another—even to the point of being willing to sacrifice their lives or, in the case of Jonathan, a willingness to sacrifice the opportunity to be king.  Going beyond Aristotle, I would argue that sacrifice can be an important element of true friendship—provided that the willingness to sacrifice is mutual and for a higher good.

 

Come, join us this Sunday, September 7th, at Meriden United Methodist Church, as we explore further the qualities that help us to be true friends.  Our church is located at the corner of Main and Dawson Streets in Meriden, Kansas.  Our classic worship service starts at 10 am on Sunday mornings. 

Everyone is welcome and accepted because God loves us all.